Friday, September 4, 2009

Is a Frogs Ass Watertight?


Today I did something that I never imagined that I would do.  It wasn't an earth shattering event, but it was definitely a first.  Its difficult to have 'first time events' when your 47 years old, and sometimes even harder to recall when the last time you ever had one.  My oldest and probably first best friend Marc called while he was in town.  He still lives in the town we grew up in, a small village of about 250 people.  We don't see each other often, but he is one of those friends that you can see five days ago or five years, and its never difficult to just catch up like it was yesterday.  That is a rare quality in friends, especially these days.  So, I got a text message he was going to be in town, and I arranged for him to call me after his appointment so I could give him directions.  In one of the text messages, he asked me if there were any pet stores near me, and he informed me that he was in the market for a 'small brown frog'.  Not your usual request.  So, curiosity got the best of me and I asked him, the obvious question.  Why do you want a 'small brown frog'?  His reply, was somewhat vague, ' to keep my other small brown frog company'.  He then preceded to tell me that everybody in his household has their own frog.  Numerous people, numerous frogs.  I told him, had he requested this a week earlier, that I could have scooped up not one but two small brown frogs after a rainstorm at another buddies house... and they would have been free.  He then explained to me, that this was no garden variety frog, but a itty bitty dwarf African frog...  and it lived under water.  I was always under the impression, that Africa was hot, dry, desert like and the last place one would ever find a tiny underwater frog.  Who knew?  After several text messages, I was informed that, 'small brown frog #1' was missing.  This, would have been a 'hop and seek' mission, except that, this was an underwater frog, who now was most likely dried up and turning to dust.  Apparently the goldfish that lived in the tank with the frog had ganged up on it, and it escaped the water for an even darker fate.  I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or write a eulogy.  I texted back, see you in an hour, and I prepared myself for an afternoon of 'small brown frog' shopping.  Marc arrived, we chatted, I showed him the ducks in the back yard, and I explained that one never has to look for a duck under a recliner, my pet of choice for the moment.  We then went to the pet store, where low and behold, they sold said amphibians.  We examined the frog selection and discovered that, there were two sizes of 'small brown frog'.  I want you to think, frog... size of a thumbnail.  Not a thumb, a thumbnail.  The frog was five bucks.   He decided to get one 'small brown frog' and one 'larger brown frog', which was identical except that it was the size of half your thumb, and six bucks.  He also bought a see through fish that the store clerk guaranteed was 'small brown frog' friendly.  I was amazed, I had no idea that there were frog psychologist.  The purchases were bagged, and off we went into the hot afternoon, I would be home in five minutes, the frogs, fish and Marc, would take an hour.  I feared for the frogs life already.  Thank goodness for working air conditioning.  I bit farewell and good journey to my friend and his three tiny passengers, and told him to let me know how the trip home went.  Now, as for the title of this odd adventure.  One of my favorite sayings when somebody asks me an idiotic question, that they should know the answer to anyway, my response has always been  "Is a frogs ass watertight".  Oddly enough, that is the one thing I failed to ask the frog psychologist, so I'm really not sure one way or another.   Oh yeah, Marc, the frogs and the fish all made it to their destination intact.  The frogs were happy and the fish was non combative.  I think I will call Marc tomorrow and ask him 'What do you call a Chinese frog that can carry a tune'   The answer, 'Hop Sing'...  I think he should name one of the frogs that, but I will leave it up to him, which one.