Some Sort of Deja’Vu

Photographs of memories
Stashed away in time
Carefully put away
When you're trying to forget
Gathering dust until
We've learned to forgive
Laughing at crazy faces
Putting memories to old places
We used to hang at
All those years ago
Smiles and laughter
I haven't seen in a long time
Makes you warm and fuzzy
With some sort of deja'vu
When you think how
All the cards played out
Sometimes gives you a chill
I see my self in those images
I still see some demons
I can still remember the pain
Behind those eyes
But it's nothing like it used to be
I've thrown those demons
Back where they came from
Some of them i've tamed
The rest hold no power
Over either one of us
We can laugh again
With a freedom
That we hadn't learned
Way back when
Guess things sometimes
Just have a life of their own
They catch you
When you least expect it
Unaware of the road
Till you take the time
To live in the moment
And take those deja'vu moments
With a grain of salt
A little bit of wisdom
And just let them be.

( November 08, 2009 )

When Nobody Listens

In the darkness
Into the dawn
Nobody hears him
Nobody sees him
The ghost in the fog
Sitting under the moon
Tears raining down
Like diamonds
From the sky
But nobody is there
To catch his tears
Or to quiet the fears
That he gives into
In to the night
But shouldn't there be
Somebody with him
When he cries
Somebody to reach out
And quiet the demons
Take the pain away
Even for just a moment
Some call it his fate
Some say it's his destiny
Some say, its his punishment
For thing's he's long forgotten
Or for things he's not yet seen
Somewhere in the dark of night
And if you stop and listen
Become one with the night
Lean into the wind
You can hear a ghostly silence
Tears carried on the winds
Of a long forgotten prisoner
Sitting in the dark
Existing on the edge
Just waiting out his time


(October 24, 2009)

Sometimes... I sit at my desk till the night has become the daytime... wandering the web, writing, looking back into my own reflection and now and then I become inspired to create something very introspective. My writings always have 'a little bit of me in them' but there usually me looking at a situation, at a relationship, or a person of great influence in my life. It is always safer to distance ones self just a bit from their point of reference, if for nothing else... to hide from your own demons... the ones that exist just for you. So last night I was compelled to sit in front of my demons, confront them, call them by name and to let them out momentarily to do battle. Out of the ashes of that revelation, I wrote what I believe has to be, one of the most revealing , intimate, and truthful pieces ive ever allowed myself to write. And so my friends.... if you've ever wondered what it was like to see deep into ones soul.... without castle walls, or behind veiled illusions, read on. It's a rare moment that I decided to share with you.

Reckless ( On the Edge )

Always on the edge
Leanin way over
Waitin to fall
Maybe to jump
With you it's crazy
I never know
What to expect
Or which way to run
I can't deal with it
Your reckless soul
I get caught up
In the vortex
Like the wind
Edge of a hurricane
I forget to think
What always happens next
After the hit and run
Because thats the only constant
In your world
And it always leaves me
Shattered on the side of the road
Lost somewhere in the dark
Lookin for the light
And I have to
Start all over
Picking up the pieces
Left by your reckless soul
Till the next time
Its a long way back
One day I know
I'll stop looking up
When I hear your voice
I won't have to fight myself
Between the darkness
And the light
Im not there yet
I still look up
But from a safe distance now
It's gotten so much easier
I like living in the light
Where I need to stay
No more chaos
No more temptation
No more...you
Guess i've come out
Of the darkness after all.

( October 23, 2009 )

Empty Spaces

And she says
Soul be my sister
As she stands alone
Reflecting in the mirror
There's just a ghostly image
Looking back now
Of what used to be
Shes deflecting glances
Of what nobody knows
A shadow here
And old familiar scent
Earthy and comforting
She knows how to reach out
Into the darkness
Touching souls
Waiting...wanting...longing
Each day passes
Small victories
But losing the war
So she wonders why
Anything else matters
When nothing fills
The empty spaces
She knows hes out there
Just beyond the veil
Lingering on the edge
Memory and heartache
Confusion and frustration
So with gentle sadness
He says to her
Soul be my lover
Soul be my wife
Timeless and ageless
There will come a day
When the veil is lifted
And the touch familiar
Will surround her
No longer alone
They will walk among the stars
And the emptyness
Will be a distant memory.

( October 20, 2009 )

For Gwen at the gate... timeless, soul sister, our connection is ageless, and I will always love you.

No Going Back

We made our choices
Maybe they were
Already made
There was no going back
At least not for me
Too many off ramps
Already in my life
Now it's just
Straight down the road
Revelations like that
Don't come easy
But they should have
Come forth way before
They were brought into the light
I let myself move forward
Before I checked out the facts
Maybe you had your reasons
Maybe it was your own fear
Well if it was your demon
It got the best of you
Sitting there at that table
Surrounded by all your people
And all it took was a word
And a glance to prove
The truth was spoken
And for me that was it
It was over before it began
And now all these years
That have followed since
You seem to still be
Back in that fantasy
That you tried to create
An all the while
I'm a prisoner
Behind the castle walls
Contemplating my discontent
One breath at a time.

( October 15th 2009 )

Invisible

U feel smaller and smaller
Like Alice in the looking glass
Caught by the Mad Hatter
Sneakin out the door
Teacup in hand
Oh... its never too late
Silly rabbit
To find out who you are
And where your going
But you have to slow down
Or you might get lost
In the Red Queens Castle
Off with your head!
Cried the Angry Queen
And you run for your life
While the Chessire cat
Grins in the dark corner
And asks you a question
So what would you give
To walk through a room
And be invisible
What would it be worth
To be safe from peering eyes
As they gather together
And say they told you so
While they sip their tea
and give you that stilletto glance
Cuts like a knife
With a dull and jagged blade
Everytime you look up
And you wonder
When this dream will end
And you will wake up
And peer under your bed
To make sure
That your there all alone
No grinning cats
And no mad hatters
No rabbits on the run
Always late and in a hurry
And the angry Queen
Fades from your sight
She's in her tower
With the Jacks in a row
Giving her full attendance
So you sit there in silence
So now your all alone
This is what you asked for
This is what you got
The only question that remains
Is it what you always dreamed of
Or is the silence like a scream
That haunts your soul
Day after day.

(October 3, 2009)

Food For Thought

Earthquakes...Tsunamis....Cyclones... It has been a terrible couple of days on Planet Earth. Is it Mother Nature, or perhaps possibly Gods wrath? Could it be that is this simply a coincidence? Or is it part of a much bigger event? Is it prophecy realized? Is this the 'End of Days' ? Are our days beginning to quicken as December 21, 2012 approaches? The Galactic Center prediction, Bible codes, Nostradamus, the Oracle of Delphi, are they all part of some sort of doomsday competition. There are far too many possibilities and who knows, maybe nothing at all will happen. Personally, I am studying all of the paths and scenarios. And while I'm skeptical I have for the last few years felt the need to tie up all the connections and finish writing the book I've been working on since I was 17 years old. I have forgiven some of the people that brought chaos into my life, and taken inventory of the parts I played. There are still people and parts of myself that I haven't yet been able to reconcile with. It is a work in progress and I sometimes struggle with the ability to take that first step toward letting go of things I cannot change.

It was much easier in many ways when the table was round, the walls were strong with stone, and the blades were enchanted.